I See You
by Nitefyre
Summary: Sometimes it takes almost losing what you love the most for you to see what is right in front of you.


Disclaimer: Don't own Mass effect sure wish I did though

I See You

By

Cw Clark

She always knew Commander Nathaniel Shepherd had darker side to him, she could see it In his eyes when he was staring down mercenaries and slavers. It was beast that he kept caged deep inside of him and tapped it only when he needed. Miranda prided herself at being able to read people and see straight through them. With Shepherd it was different she could only read but so much with him. His past his time back on Earth before he joined the Alliance Military was almost all but secret and maybe that was for the best. Peaking around the pillar she was crouched behind aiming down the iron site she lined up her shot letting loose a burst of fire from her Tempest sub machine the rounds tearing through the mercenaries light armor. Then a Single shot rang out followed by frantic the sound of Garrus screaming Tali name. The Normandy XO watched as Mordin rushed to Tali's side, she ordered Grunt and Thane to lay cover fire for Mordin . The first give away was the look on Samara face followed by the cold chill that went through her and finally when she laid eyes on Shepherd.

The raw amount of the biotic energy rolling off Shepherd was incredible making every hair on her stand on end. His eyes, ethereal blue globes of the cold fury glancing over at the terrible wounded Quarin on the ground. Mordin was in a full flurry of motion trying to treat the gunshot wound muttering to himself as he ran methods of treatment. The shot rip straight through her suit on the left side of her chest. His eyes softened only for the briefest of moments before turning back the intend targets of the ire.

"By the Goddess." Samara whispered she had lived nearly 1000 years and never seen such a display. Shepherd turned his gaze the first mercenary a Batarian he did not have time to raise his rifle before Shepherd slammed in him his force of charge shattering every bone and pulverizing every organ in his body. He coughed out blood as he fell limply to ground dead on from the force of the impact The human next to him found himself staring down the business end of the Commanders Pistol , single shot point blank the back his head exploded in a mist of the grey and red. The last two a Turian and another human opened fire wildly their shots bouncing off his biotic barrier harmlessly. The Turian body snapped like a twig as Shepherd yanked him from this snipers nest pulling him through air. Shepherd reared back with other hand his fist meeting the helmet of the Turian with a loud wet crunch. Even Zaeed had to cringe slightly at the violence the that was being unleashed on the slavers.

"Yeah know not might be a good time… Never thought he had it in him but Damn" Jack added with a smirk. Mordin looked up and saw Nathaniel making terribly short work of the final Slaver in his biotic driven rage

"Tali stable. Most move quickly injury grave must remove bullet." Moridin motioned Thane over to help

"Shepherd Tali's Stabilized we're bugging out…" Jacob yelled, The Commander simply stood there fist clenched covered in red and blue blood. "Shepherd we have to go NOW! Why the hell is not listening to me?"

"He is lost in rage and grief humans are still very new to the use of the biotics." Samara jump off the shuttle calmly walking over to the Commander and placing a shoulder and whispering something in Old Asari. The tension left his body, his fist unclenched turning to the Justicar and small trickle of blood rolling down his nose and from his ears before his eyes rolled into the back of head . Samara caught him as passed out from exhaustion, Grunt was already there waiting to take the commander 230 pound frame off the Asari shoulders.

"Hand him over…" Grunt growled taking the commander and effortlessly throwing him over his back. "Damn Shepherd lay off the gumbo."

*****

"Okay so just what the hell happen out there Commander?" Miranda demand looking over the weary man they sat and waited for news from Mordin and Doctor Chakwa on Tali

"What?" he responded his voice just a harsh whisper.

"No offense but you pulled a Jack back there and hell I think even she was impressed." Jacob chided trying to lighten the mood slightly to be more accurate he was scared shitless at the moment.

"You all knew I was biotic." Rubbing the weariness from his face he was not in the mood for the 20 questions.

"Yes trained as Vanguard elite biotic user focused on close quarters combat. That out there was display of biotic power is beyond any known Alliance training" Miranda knew everything there was about the Alliance biotic programs

"I don't what it was I lost it…. When I saw Tali go down something snapped…I don't maybe it's because only her, Garrus and Joker are all I have left from the old Normandy my old life … it's hard to explain." Neither Miranda nor anyone else in the room was buying it and he did not want to deal with it but they all knew the truth.

He was in love with her.

"It was an emotional response…" Samara added joining the conversation as she walked gracefully in room. "Have you told her? Shepherd you needed to tell her, we all my not have that much time left." He let out a bitter laugh for all his talk about of hope and enduring sometimes he was the biggest coward on this ship. Samara understood his reservation but she had been alive for nearly 1000 years. Both human and Quarian life spans are so much short compared to hers.

"Tali, stabilized, resting , going to pull through, strong will to live, most inspiring." Mordin came into the room a tired but relieved smile. The Salarian doctor watched the tension leave Shepherds body but the air of sadness never left him as got up and left room.

"Disheartening must be hard caring for one but never being able to touch … must be painful ."

*****

As he made his way to the Med bay Shepherd ran over the battle again and again, there was no reason from him to miss that Sniper he should have know and his mistake nearly killed her.

"She is resting, we have her in quarit our little Quarian is tougher than she looks. I have seen Marines die from less." The Doctor noticed that look on his face, it was same look he had when he carried back Jenkins body, it was same look he had when he left Kaiden on Virmere. "This…" She pointed over to the sleeping form of the Tali, her eyes narrowing as she stared at him. "This not your fault, so don't blame yourself for something you had no control over Nathaniel." Using his first name to get the point across, everyone sense he came aboard the first Normandy she had a soft spot for him. He reminded her of the son she lost so many years ago.

Shepherd looked at the doctor his hazel eyes revealing the storm of emotions going on inside the young man heart. 28 years old just still coming into own as a man, so young but had so much thrust on to his shoulders . Many saw him as a stoic hero, never showing any emotion or weakness, still they only knew the solider, the warrior, not the man. Not the man that watched his whole company killed on Akuze, not the man that would drink himself to sleep just to block memories. He cared a lot more about the people around him than he let on. She knew that, and his new crew was starting to realize that Nathaniel Shepherd was a complicated man. A complicated man who's emotions ran deeper than any of them knew. Her eyes followed him as silently made his way over to the bed Tali was resting in placing his hand on the protective barrier.

She was safe, looking so peaceful almost like a fairytale the notion almost made him laugh out loud the thought was absurd but comforting. This was not some story he was no white knight and she was not some princess that needed saving.

"I am a fool, damned stupid… fool" Shepherds head hit the glass barrier in frustration the only thing he found he wanted the most he could never really have, the universe, Reapers and Saren must be laughing at him right now.

"Shep..herd.." her voice was weak , to him it was the most beautiful sound he ever heard.

"Don't talk you took a nasty hit… we almost lost you." Tali noticed the hesitation in his voice at the end of his statement.

"I'll leave you two to talk..." before leaving the Dr. Chakwa smiled softly, she remember seeing Shepherd after Horizon whatever Gunnery Chief Williams said the Shepherd it hurt him deeply. She made a mental note to send an email to Williams speak to her about that incident. She was glad and hoping that he would see what he was looking from was right here the whole time.

Nathaniel placed his hand in the smiling softly had hated taking his walls down but with her there were no walls. She was the first friendly face he found after waking in some medical facility.

"You gave me a scare there…I.."

"Sorry Commander, I should.."

"Damnit stop calling me that Nate or Shepherd is fine and the mission can go to hell. You're more important to me than the damn mission." Tali looked up at him in a mix awe and fighting back the urge the incredible urge to kiss him. She was always afraid that he did not feel the same way she felt about him. Of course the fact that it takes her getting nearly fatally shot for him to come realize his feelings annoyed her to no end. Guess it was a universal truth men of all Races are as dumb as sack of rock at times.

"I should go, you get needed to get some rest, you don't need me dumping my baggage on you." Shepherd started to make his way out the lab.

"You silly Bosh'tet stop running from me… stop running from this." Shepherd stop his shoulder sagging. That was it, those words were all that it took for the last of his resolve to crumble. Her admittance that there was something between them, something more than just being shipmates.

"Tali you know…"

"Would you stop treating me like I die without my suit and stop hiding behind it, stop using it an excuse to hide from me." Now it was Shepherds to be back in a corner, she tried to sit up just enough so she could see him. Silver tinted eyes taking his features he looked like he had not slept in hours. His face was covered in cuts and bruise there was a nasty cut going across the right side of his forehead. Eyes always his eyes that told her what he was really feeling, Hazel eyes filled with so many emotions at once.

"I died on you once … you deserve a lot better than what I can give you… shit look you laying in.."

"Must you always blame yourself…"

"YES!" he snapped back the frustration, anger, hurt, love everything final boiling over at once. " I Lost my unit on Akuze, I lost Jenkins and Kaiden, I lost the first Normandy. I lost everything, friends, family, Ashley the only thing that I have not lost is you." Walking back over and resting his forehead on the glass barrier he closing his eyes before continuing. "And I almost lost you today and that scares me more than the Collectors or Reapers, more than anything else. " Tali looked at him and for the first time maybe she was seeing him. The man behind the solider, the man she fell in love with and she saw how broken he was inside. How he barely held on buy a tread. He never showed it, never told anyone how much he cared about those around him. Yet before her just across a glass barrier was a man that loved his friends, his family, his crew, his ship, and her so much it scared him. She wanted to cry and scream in joy in the same breath, pushing herself to get out the bed. Holding the sheet close to stay covered she limped her way over to the window and placed hand on the glass.

"When are you going to believe in yourself as much we, as I believe in you. " her was so warm it wash over him, her silver eyes soften but held nothing but pure adoration and un shake able faith in him. "I watched you take down those assassins sent kill me back at Chora Den. You walked through my smoke grenade, the blue glow of your biotic making like a guardian Ashura . I haven stars and system that some would never see but nothing as beautiful as seeing you that day. " She smiled softly leaning her head to side. "When you died my heart died, when I saw on Freedoms Progress it leapt in joy. When you came for me on Haelstorm you took down an entire platoon of Geth. Never once did doubt yourself."

"The only thing I was thinking about was getting to you in time… I was so scared. "looking up his Hazel eyes meeting her silver .

"I know… It was the bravest thing I have seen any do for me." This feeling, these feelings she had for him was something that scared her at first. She had heard horror stories from others that tried to have a relationship with a human. Strange how similar the Races were both needed closeness and affection. . "But you know what hurts me the most, even more than watching you die…"

"This hurts me more than anything… This constant tip toeing around never being able to say what I always wanted to say" Shepherd looked up are here eyes shining with a renewed faith and something more acceptance he did not have to run anymore. There would be no more running, she was here now and that is all that mattered was tomorrow be damned.

"I know…I can't do this anymore either, I'm done hiding and I'm done running." Tali never considered herself as the type of girl get gushy and teary eye but the look of determination and conviction his eyes told her everything. That's when she realized, it was always his eyes that gave him away. Those deep hazel orbs, it was what she first noticed about him, in the alley scared her they so cold and focused. After Virmere, they made her weep they were filled with such sadness and hurt. His eyes he may never say it but she could always look into his eyes and

know without a shadow of a doubt that he loved her.

_**** _

Gunfire, plasma fire it was storm of the death around her, Collectors all swarming around them as pushed through the base. Garrus firing off shot with his sniper rifle while moving. He almost looked to be having fun. Tali ducked down behind next pillar pulling up her omni-tool she summoned a explosive drone whispering "Get'em girl" listening following Popping out of cover firing off three more shots just as Shepherd unleashed another Biotic Shockwave the force throwing the Drones to the side like toys.

"The Path is obstructed…" Legion said over the com channel.

"Tali open the valve I'll cover you." Garrus rolled out from cover firing off a Concussive shot take three more drones off their feet. Pulling out pistol two quick shots and the Drones guarding the valve release dropped dead. Typing fast than she thought should the valve released giving Legion a quick nod as the Geth proceed to the next release.

"You will know Pain Shepherd…" Harbinger had taken control of the one of dying drones and its burning form no stood before her. She knew this was always going to be a one way trip the 2 hrs she spent with him was worth it. Closing her eyes she brought back memories of that time, each kiss and touch. Then it never came, cracking her eyes open she, saw Shepherd body a glow in a Biotic barrier Tempest leveled at the Harbinger as the hail of gun fire tore right through his the already dead drone.

"This form is redundant." Shepherd turned offering his hand to help her up off the ground. Looking into his eyes she saw not one ounce of fear, only resolve and unspoken promises, words that never needed to spoken. His eyes always told her everything she needed to know…

No matter what he was going to bring all of them home.

****

She watched him stared out of the hole in the side of the Normandy, they we're safe and the Collector base was destroyed. The Illusive Man, he will hunt them not taking too kindly that Shepherd told him to kiss his ass. She walked over to him and took his hand into her, instinctively their fingers intertwine as his turned his gaze to her. Those same eyes, eyes that she fell in love with almost two years ago.

Eyes that she showed her the man that she believed would save the entire galaxy.


End file.
